It's Official! We've having a....

Baby! :D (hahaha... I just had to do it to ya!)

Yep, Ben decided that we're NOT going to find out - and it's going to be a surprise! I was soooo excited when he told the ultrasound tech. (As you recall - he wouldn't tell me his decision ahead of time. Stubborn man.)

But the ultrasound was great - the tech was super nice and explained everything we were looking at, and what she was doing. We got a bunch of cute pics, and this little wiggle worm is looking perfectly healthy and measuring right on track. :) Oh, and s/he weighs 10 oz.

I also put these photos on the Meet Monster's Little Sibling page as well, but here they are for you again!

Baby says "Hi!"

Don't forget, you can enter your guess about this baby's gender, birthdate, size, etc. Just click on the ExpectNet.com link over there on the right ---------->

There will be a prize for the winner in November! You can't win if you don't enter a guess. :)

Feeling Crummy

I've just been feeling kinda down this week. I'm not sure if I can put it all into words, but I'll try. Writing stuff out usually seems to help.
Part of the funk I'm in has to do with me feeling like I'm failing Monster as a mother. :(

Other than on the weekends, I only see him for maybe an hour in the morning while I'm getting ready for work, and then a few hours in the evening when I get home from work - but the evening time is spent with me cooking dinner, then us eating dinner, and some nights we have somewhere to run off to. Monday's its Bible Study. Thursday's it's band practice. So on those days, I'm only home for maybe an hour and a half at most. And I'm cooking dinner and then we're eating. By the time I get home, it's bed time. And on the nights we don't have anywhere to be, there's always the "something else" - whether it's working on the VBS plans for this year, or just trying to get in some internet time, etc.

The weekends are a bit better. We're typically home all day Saturday, or at least all together on family outings. But that's when we do the housecleaning - so that's more time that I'm not getting to play with him, but instead he entertains himself while I do laundry, sweep, and so on. Oh, and don't forget the grocery shopping. That's takes away from our fun time, too.

Sundays we're at church for the first half of the day (from band practice before service, through service, and then small groups) and we're not togther - he's in the nursery, I'm in service or my class. After that we go to the in-laws' house for supper. Which is always great. Except that all of us adults want to spend time with each other, and they all want to spend time with Monster too. So that's not really "Monster + Mommy" time either.
I guess I just feel like I'm missing so much. He's growing so fast, and one day he's not going to want me to sit on the floor and play cars with him, or chase him around the house on my hands and knees. (currently favorite game) :)

I know I'm blessed to have such wonderul people caring for him while I work - he gets to spend 2 days a week with Grandma, and 3 days a week with a close family friend who has known me since I was a little girl. He is very loved while I'm away, and he gets lots of play time, etc. So I guess he's not feeling like he's lacking in any of those areas.
And as much as I would love to be able to stay home with him every day, it's just not realistic. I'm not cut out to be a SAHM. If I stayed home every day all the household chores would be MY responsibility... haha. Currently, Ben & I spilt things pretty evenly when we clean on the weekends. That would change if I was home all day. See this picture? Do you notice something weird about it... the woman in the pictures is smiling. That, my friends, is not me. Not by a long shot. I don't like housework, and I wouldn't want to be responsible for all if it, every day. You can bet I wouldn't be smiling like this crazy lady...

Plsu I'd also miss adult social interaction. Oh, and not to mention that we couldn't afford to pay our bills if I wasn't working.

So I'm left stuck where I am. I can't stay home with Monster every day. I know he's well cared for while I'm away. But I still feel like I'm failing him because it's not me caring for him and playing with him all the time. I mean, I'm lucky if we get 7 full hours of just playing together a week. Mornings he sleeps until the last possible minute when I have to get him up and ready to leave. And then maybe 1 hour each weeknight (at least the ones when I'm home) And then a few hours on Saturday or Sunday. Sure, I spend a lot of hours a week with him doing the "have-to" stuff as well - such as getting dressed... feeding...

diaper changes....driving places.... bathtime.... etc.

And you could argue that I'm not failing him because I love him, feed him, clean him, keep him safe, etc. And it's true - I'd really be failing as a mother if I didn't do those necessities. But to me, 7 hrs a week of actually getting to play with my baby just doesn't seem like enough. It feels like quite an important piece that's missing.

Is this all the result of the pregnancy hormones wreaking havoc on me? Am I crazy? Or should I be feeling this way? Those of you with little ones who also work outside the home - how many hours a week do you think you get to spend playing with them?

Online Baby Pool - Enter Your Guess

I created an online baby pool for the new baby... what is an online baby pool you ask?
It's a place where everyone can enter their guesses for the baby's gender, birthdate & time, weight, and length.

Then, after baby is born, it scores everyone based on how close their guess was to the end result!
Wanna get in on the fun?

Click here to enter your guess! :)

Breastfeeding is Offensive

I just read this great article...You should check it out!

Breastfeeding in Public is Offensive - See for Yourself

The Gender Decision

I've made a decision about whether or not we will find out the gender of this baby....

I've decided that Ben gets to decide! :D

So after much thinking and debating, I just keep coming back to the middle. I finally told Ben that I'd weighed the pros & cons of each decision, and they are equal in my mind. So, it is on him now. My reasoning is that if we went team green (not finding out gender) he'd be the one getting the privilege & honor of finding out & announcing it to everyone. Totally special for him. But if he doesn't care about having that honor, and would rather know ahead of time, then he can choose team yellow (finding out gender). The 19 week anatomy scan ultrasound - the big one where they check the development of basically everything - is scheduled for June 28th. That would be our chance to find out the gender if we wanted to.

(Baby at the 11wk+4day u/s)

So Ben has until June 28th to make a decision one way or the other.... I am secretly hoping that  he chooses to wait until the birth - because I would love for him to have that special honor, and I think I'd like the surprise. Even though I have always told myself and others that I could NEVER EVER be team green. LOL. Oh well, it wouldn't be the first time I eat my words!

But if we do find out, it's not the end of the world - because I could bond with the specific gender, do some planning, buy some clothes ahead of time (well unless it's a boy - I wouldn't buy a bit of clothing!), and of course buy some new diapers if it's a girl! :D